Special Edition | PRIDE '21: A Q&A With Friends
PRIDE is more than just about a rainbow. It is a time for the LGBTQ+ community to show the world that they are worth it and that equality is for all, not just some people. Often times the community has experienced backlash from the Stonewall Riots to modern-day America slowly taking rights away from transgender people with numerous bills and legislations.
We as a community come together every day to support our brothers and sisters and we do this even more powerfully during the month of June when we are able to celebrate not what makes us different but all the things that make us alike.
“All human beings have a commonality. More so than anyone thinks. We're all really exactly the same. We all are born, we all grow up wanting to be loved, we all become an adult searching for love. It doesn't matter if it's gay or straight. A common thread that holds every human together is that we wanna be loved.” - Queer Eye 1x01
This year for PRIDE, I have asked some of my close friends to send me some questions that they wanted answers to. These questions range from my coming out story to day-to-day life being a part of the LGBTQ+ community. Some people might be turned away from reading about these topics but for those who continue to read, I hope that you gain some insight into my life but also some insight into what it means to be gay. I hope that I can inspire a little me who is still in the closet or someone who is struggling to come out or struggling with the aftermath of coming out and tell them that everything will be okay in the end. Life is not perfect but please remember this, there are people who know how you feel and you have a whole community supporting you who will be there every step of the way.
Inclusion and Progression
What does it mean to be a part of the LGBTQ+ community? -Rebecca McCann
There is so much that makes me happy to be a part of the LGBTQ+ community and one of the main things that it means is knowing that I have a support system that is always a text away no matter what the subject may be. This community is always going to be there for you when you most need it. But it also is not as serious as many people are simply happy to have a friend that is like them. Most people in the community have gone through school being told that they are different, not worth it, and not worthy of being loved by anyone.
Did you feel accepted into the LGBTQ+ community right away? -Megan Heffernan
Yes and no. This is a hard question because there is a wide variety of acceptance in the community. Some people don’t like you if you are too masculine while others won’t like you if you are too feminine. It depends on the balance that you achieve. I’m not saying that being too masc/fem is bad but it comes down to the fact that people will place their preferences over who you are as a person. Although I end up on the more masc side of the spectrum, it was hard to fit in because I didn’t know that many gay people in my life. Yes, I had some kids in my high school class that were open and proud but being in a catholic high school was hard to navigate that portion of my life. I feel like I gained control more so in college because I could be who I wanted to be and no one would know who I was before. There is also a stereotype in the community that if you don’t look a certain way then no one will want to be with you so it was hard to navigate that avenue also.
Did u ever come out officially and if so how? -Shirali Patel
I came out to my mom in my Junior year of high school during a catholic retreat (I know. How ironic). I told her I was attracted to boys and that I was the same person I am today. I didn’t change who I was but wanted her to see that I was the same person. She told me in response that she knew from the moment she adopted me that I was gay (you can read more in my book). This gave me a giant relief but I never told anyone else in my family. I posted about my book where I described my coming out story so if they read it then they would know. I never felt like I needed to explicitly tell people I was gay especially in my family. It was never something that was brought into discussion nor asked about. But I guess you could say that they might have known from the way I grew up and the things that I used to do such as, playing with my sister’s Barbie dolls more often than my own Lego toys and even remembering the lyrics to most if not all the songs from the 2006 movie Dreamgirls.
What’s ur favorite part about being part of the LGBTQ+ community? -Stephanie Moutran
As with everything, there are always things I am going to dislike but often times I catch myself liking more things in the LGBTQ+ community. If I had to pick, I think my favorite part about the community is the sense of knowing that you are never alone. As I mentioned above, the whole community comes together in times of need to help and support each other. It is also a huge outlet in terms of meeting new people that can become your new best friends.
What Comes Next?
Although there has been a lot of change in the terms of acceptance of the LGBTQ+ community by people all over the world, there is still a lot that needs fixing. These changes can start with you and don’t have to be big at all. Make it known to people that it isn’t okay to be homophobic, transphobic, and even sexist. Call people out on their actions and don’t tolerate their shit when they start to verbally abuse people either behind their back or even to their face. It’s even okay to call people out who say “that’s so gay” or even people who try to compare gay levels by saying someone is gayer than someone else. Being a part of the community is a spectrum and you are not only just the thing you identify as. Some people are more in touch with their feminine side while others their masculine side. There is nothing wrong with this and oftentimes, people are looked down upon because they dress and talk in ways that break social norms.
For those people in the community that you know, make sure you let them know that they matter in this world. For someone that might be struggling to come to terms with who they are, this simple saying could be the difference between life and death. YOU ARE WORTH IT, YOU MATTER.
For more information and to learn about ways to help look through the following links below.
PRIDE in Music and Film
There has been immense support and representation for those in the LGBTQ+ community in music and in films whether in a movie or short film format. This is so important because as a child, I didn’t really have shows or movies depict gay relationships. Everything on the television was between a man and a woman and when I did see that gay portrayal, it felt almost like a sin to watch it because it was so heavily avoided. It’s important that future generations don’t have to feel shame in watching two people of the same sex being together. Below you will find some of my favorite works that either portray the LGBTQ+ community or the work is from a member of the community.
Music
Movies
Call Me by Your Name
R • LGBTQ+ • Drama • Romance • Movie • 2017
A teenage boy becomes enamored with an American student who comes to stay with his family in Northern Italy. Together they share an unforgettable summer of discovery and romance.
Moonlight
R • LGBTQ+ • Drama • Movie • 2016
A look at three defining chapters in the life of Chiron, a young black man growing up in Miami. His epic journey to manhood is guided by the kindness, support and love of the community that helps raise him.
TV Series
Euphoria
TVMA • Drama • Black Stories • TV Series • 2019
Zendaya stars in this series that follows a group of high school students as they navigate love and friendships in a world of drugs, sex, trauma and social media.
Love, Victor
TV14 • LGBTQ+ • Latino • Drama • Teen • TV Series • 2020
Set in the world of the original 2018 film “Love, Simon,” the series follows Victor, a new student at Creekwood High School on his own journey of self-discovery, facing challenges at home, adjusting to a new city, and struggling with his sexual orientation. When it all seems too much, he reaches out to Simon to help him navigate the ups and downs of high school.
Books
They Both Die at the End
Adam Silvera • 2017
There’s no life without death and no love without loss in this devastating yet uplifting story about two people whose lives change over the course of one unforgettable day.
A Little Life
Hanya Yanagihara • 2015
A Little Life follows four college classmates—broke, adrift, and buoyed only by their friendship and ambition—as they move to New York in search of fame and fortune. While their relationships, which are tinged by addiction, success, and pride, deepen over the decades, the men are held together by their devotion to the brilliant, enigmatic Jude, a man scarred by unspeakable childhood trauma. A hymn to brotherly bonds and a masterful depiction of love in the twenty-first century, Hanya Yanagihara’s stunning novel is about the families we are born into, and those that we make for ourselves.
Even though PRIDE only lasts 30 days, it is something that is ever-changing and this movement goes beyond those 30 days in June and will continue to change and inspire lives. Let us all practice inclusion and progression in hope of a better future for all the people. AmZLdvXwolNYLinEcGO1
